31 Jan 2022

( I gather that you think I am somewhat ignorant or naive. You do not trust my judgment, at least not initially. It is impossible to have a conversation with you.)

I have always known myself in terms of you. It has been years since I learned that I must not do that, and I stopped. Do you know what? It feels good to know I was right. You do not get to do that. You simply do not. I will not watch you stroke the same strings over and over again. You cannot hurt me and then say it pains you to see me ache, not when you are the one who caused that ache repeatedly. Do you not see it, the greater scheme of things? I do. I choose not to talk about it. I will not. I do not think it is worth it. For my peace of mind, I will let it go. I will not forget, though. I will keep a healthy amount as a reminder so that I never give in to you regardless of how much I love you, dear, and do you know how much that is? I love you most. Now, I can say my guard is never to be let down for anyone's sake and mean it. By God, I had never had a stronger determination to decrease the good-hearted trust and kindness I have always had.